Sometimes I Fear

Some times I feel like a bad person. I fear that I take my in your face attitude too far at times. Some times I feel like a useless employee. I fear that I'm going backwards while being stuck in a simple routine. Some times I feel like a dumb student. I fear that I'm not at par to where I need to be. Some times I do not feel like a loving or grateful person. I fear that I have gotten used to and therefore accepted the fact that I am not capable of expressing my emotions. Some times I do not feel good enough. I fear that you'll realize I'm not as amazing as you think I am. Some times I do not feel like I'm moving. I fear that I will not move forward in life.

cool as cucumber

Sometimes things bother me but I don't tell you because I want to play it cool.

I can't sleep right. I can't get dressed right. I can't breath right. I can't do anything properly. I don't think I have the will power to do this anymore. Everyday I think about how none of this is worth it. I used to be a happy person. I used to love myself, I used to like me. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't really want to do anything anymore. I just sit here in discomfort, might as well not be here.

It's not fair that I need you all the time when I just hold you back.

broken

I don't feel pretty anymore
I'm riddled with scars and drowning in tears
No longer do I have hope
There is no way to heal it, there is no way to fix me

I shouldn't have a place next to you
It's a hassle, I'm a hassle
It's a mess, I'm a mess
There's a burden on you and I'm weighing you down

going through the motions

So you were right, things did change. I miss spending time together, it was so awesomely chill. I miss the weekly movies, even if it was a bad one. I guess I ain't no Hannah, can't have the best of both worlds.. but I can still make lames jokes. Looking back, things are so different and it's only in the span of one year. It's not like we never talk or see each other.. but it's not like it used to be. Things change, boo.

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And yeah, still wish you didn't live in Calgary.

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...re obsessed

a different view

I've decided to start a new site to share some nicer and happier thoughts that don't usually get transpired here. Let's see where this goes.

my bubble

want my own room please